Allow me to tell you of a story of my friend.

"Strive and Study hard to be the first in class. No. That's not enough. I ought to be the first in cohort!"
Indeed, she studied hard. She was the first in class and cohort when she was in lower secondary.
She lived a life of her own, always immersed in her own world. At 14 years old, her friends did not understand her. She was upset over not getting the last few possible points that she could get, in order that she scored the highest, while her friends were contented with their results.. Some were even struggling to pass.

When she moved up to upper years, she distrusted friendships. She did not understand why the girls in her class were getting emotionally upset, just because their other close girl friends hurt them. Then, she thought that all friends would eventually betray her one day. She felt that as long as she was successful and achieved all distinctions for her O levels, get into a good JC... everything was good for her. She was on her way to becoming a successful person.

Although she led her life alone, sometimes, she yearned to have someone whom she could talk to. The sad truth was, she had no one to turn to. She felt weak at times because she came to a point in her life when she realized that scoring good grades means nothing to her. She fell into a relationship, thought she had found her closest friend whom she could find support and comfort in. But, she fell out of the relationship shortly after that. She was emotionally drained. She was also physically worn out because she was juggling with her own emotional problems and stress that she faced from her other commitments in school. For her, she felt that she would not be happy again for a long while.

Until one day, someone told her this, "God, the Heavenly Father desires you to be his happy child. He would carry your burden on your behalf."
She wept, she thought to herself that she was left with nothing, and she decided to just blindly believe. She acknowledged that she had a Heavenly Father and received Him into her life.

For me, I feel that it could be possibly a very impulsive act and even a sudden irrational move of entrusting one's life into a religious faith because this person seeks to find an immediate relief from the hurts and pain she was struggling with. Yes, it is indeed very impulsive... yes, it is indeed very irrational. But, that leap of faith into a world of unknown has brought her to a life of certainty and assurance because she knows that she has her Heavenly Father, who loves her, comfort her and guides her. She does not regret it, I am sure... because I am that girl.

That was my story before i become a Christian when I blindly believe that an intangible God could possibly take away the hurts and pain which I were feeling. It was very silly from a rational perspective. But if you were in my shoes then, when you feel that you are desperately in need of a relief from all the emotional turmoil, probably believing in the existence of an unseen God could possibly bring about some form of emotional comfort.



And what do I gain out of believing in God and receiving Jesus into my life? I know three things.

1)I understand that I am the child of God. God is my creator while I am His masterpiece. God has established a father and child relationship with me. Like a lovingly father and a purposeful creator, He desires the best for me and has planned a life for me. My life is secured in His hands. My future is not bleak because God has paved his path for me.

Before I was a Christian, I used to believe that I could control my own life. The achievement that I get at the end of the day is primarily dependent on me. However, I later realized that there are many circumstances in life that actually stops me from achieving my goals. There was this time when I worked very hard to complete my architecture project. I spent about 2 weeks working on it. I was looking forward to the completion of it until a few days before my submission, my computer crashed on me. All my hard work has gone to waste.

Being unlucky? My point here is, even if I believed that I could control my own life, there would be times when I can't do anything about my life, because my life is determined by some other circumstances which are beyond my control.

From believing that I could control and shape my own life, I gradually come to realize that it is more likely to believe in a creator who has planned and predestined my life. Now that I have God in my life, I feel very assured and certain of my life now and in the future. There could be a lot of uncertainties in the future but I am assured that my future is in the good hands of my Heavenly Father who loves me and desires the best for me. Because I know that my life has been carefully planned by God, I am sure that God would lead me in His perfect plan.

2) I also realize that there is hope and purpose in life.
I used to ask myself the following questions, "What is the purpose of our existence on earth?" "Why do we have to study so hard and work so hard when we eventually would die one day?" I have even contemplated to commit suicide at the age of 30 after I reach my prime, since after 30 years old would mean suffering and illnesses. These are some philosophical questions that demand a deeper meaning and a purpose out of my life. Do I exist merely to survive? What if one day, things that I hold dear to and I have been working hard for, such as my graduation certificate, my career and my wealth were to disappear from my hand, what then would my life be?

In today’s society, when our self worth and identity are largely determined by our social status and our achievement, is there anything more to life than just a constant pursuit of achievements, from attaining a university certificate to getting a high paying job and finally becoming wealthy?” If life merely revolves around the pursuit of material needs and achievements, what would then happen to one’s life when someone of high social status and great wealth was to face with bankruptcy? We have heard of numerous suicidal cases when the victims ended their lives after their setback. Have you ever wondered why these people committed suicide? They could have felt that they have lost everything and there is no more hope and purpose in their life anymore.
I think it would be very sad to know that one’s purposeful pursuit of a "better life" would eventually brought one to a state of hopelessness and despair when one has been stripped of all the valuable things in one’s life.

Being an achiever was no longer my agenda. I used to be an over achiever in secondary school. I always wanted to prove my worth and abilities by showing the others that I could perform well in my studies and CCA. Now, there isn’t a need for me to prove my own abilities and worth anymore, because I found my identity as a child of God. My self-worth is anchored in God.

3) I have a personal relationship with God. At this juncture, allow me to ask this question, “Why do some of us treasure relationship so much?” I guess it could be part of being a human, there is a deep yearning for companionship and support within ourselves, so that we don’t feel lonely. With friends and dear ones by our side, life becomes mores bearable because we know that we have people around us whom we could relate to.

My Heavenly Father was my steadfast friend. He walked with me in my darkest hour. Last year this time, I was in South Korea for student exchange programme. I felt all alone in the foreign land even though I was with my other course mates. Those course mates whom I thought I could relate to alienated from me for some reasons. I feel a deep sense of loneliness. God was my comforter during that trying period of time. Even when I did not have much physical support, my Heavenly Father was the unchanging friend who was with me throughout my Korea stay. With God, I was not coping with the loneliness alone. He became my listener and refuge.



Maybe some of you might be thinking that my experiences could possibly be my own mental illusions that are self-gratifying and self-comforting. But, I have struggled much with my rationality before I could conclude that my experiences are real and genuine.

Indeed, I have become God’s happy child. I have a purposeful future planned out by God, hence I am not lost. I have my identity anchored in God and I do not have to prove my worth through material possessions. There is greater perspective to my life than just mere existence on earth. I have also God as an unchanging friend who would not abandon me. My step of faith then has allowed me to gain so much which I have never gotten before.

Dear friends, I am sharing my journey with you because I have tasted the sweetness and love of God. I was as disbelieving as some of you here. I was telling my friend, not to become a Christian because they are too holy. I was telling a Christian, that I would not become a Christian then because i would like God to interfere my life because I dislike confusion.

But today, I am glad that God has interfered my life. I am glad that God, who is my creator, has granted me a life which he carefully planned because he desires the best for me. It is the just the same as how some of you might have planned where you would like to place your stained glass painting which you have created. Some plan to place it on the self in the room, on the door or even give it to a friend. God created us as His unique masterpieces, and our lives are tailored made and customised in the most ideal way.

Here is God inviting you to become His child. Always remember that his hand is always by your side, waiting patiently for you to grab hold of it because he is always willing to walk together with you through thick and thin, in your life on earth.

I pray that one day, you would share the same kind of joy that I am experiencing now.

Testimony shared during ECF stainglass painting workshop. All glory and honour to my Heavenly King.

Building my castle in the Air.

Lately, my colleagues have been asking me if I would return to DP Architects in the future after I graduate. Some even naturally assume that I would go back to my firm for future internship programmes. Seriously, I don't know. I guess, most likely not.

I give thanks because God has granted me this opportunity to intern this firm and allowed me to have a renewed perspective towards architecture. I know I have the interest. There might even be a slight possibility that I will be working as an architect one day.

However, I realise that I have greater interests in other areas. I love painting, organising events and design graphics such as cards and newsletters. Just watched little snippets of Project runway from youtube and was very very much inspired to even become a fashion designer too.

A sudden thought came into my mind. If I had the opportunity and the resources, I know I will pursue fashion design even if I have reached the age to walk to school with a walking stick. I have so many things that I want to do in life. But sometimes one could be limited by time and other priorities. Sometimes, I wish I have the burning desire of some artists who leave everything they have behind just to pursue their passion for the arts. Even if it means reducing to a frugal lifestlye and putting their family and hometown aside, they would still do it because their passion is so strong that they would regret if they don't pursue it. I pray to have the explosive passion of such artists.

Realistically speaking, I know I can't because I have my family here and I still need to support my parents. I know I can't leave them behind.

I had another conversation with a friend over msn. That msn conversation brought me to a realisation that I have actually organised and co-ordinated alot of class performances, parties, events, orientaion programmes while I was schooling before the University days. Even now, I am still organising events for hall and have taken on more influential and direction deterministic roles in the main committees. My favourite event in University that I have organised has to be the Freshmen Orientation Camp which I was heading it with another friend. In particularly, I liked the final dinner that was designed as a picnic style under the stars. Beautiful it was, and the freshmen remembered it and found it especially memorable.

I enjoy planning all these activities although I experienced much frustration, inefficieny, miscommunications... during the planning stages. However, it's just so amazing and satisfying when I could see what I imagine becoming real before my eyes. My friend said that it's not easy to co-ordinate and plan. But somehow, I am usually enthusiastic when I am given the chance to organise and plan an activity.

I love beautiful things. I love imagining beautiful things. I would certainly like to create all these beautiful images in my mind and make them become a reality. That's why I know.. If I don't try learning to become a wedding planner, it would possibly be one of the bigger regrets of my life down the memory lane in the future.

I won't want to reminise to my dear grandchildren and say "I dreamed of becoming a wedding planner. But it was only a dream."

Live life to the fullest. Live it with no regret and pursue one's dreams, if the Lord permits.

Merry Christmas! =)

How would your Christmas be?

City sidewalks
Busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
In the air there's
A feeling of Christmas
Children laughing
People passing
Meeting smile after smile
And on every
Street corner you'll hear

Silver Bells, Silver Bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas Day

One of my favourite Christmas tunes. Could imagine how the silver bells ring in the snow and glitter in the white. Christmas is around the corner and I see shoppers everywhere, doing their last bit of shopping before Christmas arrives. It’s just so amazing to see people queuing in chocolate and candy shops, kind of reminded me the queues in Chinatown outside “Ling Zhi Yuan Bak Quah” shop during the Lunar New Year season. Ha.

Could still remember how I spent my last two Christmas. Two years back, I spent it with a friend. Went for a Christmas Eve service with my friend to his friend’s church and headed down to Boat Quay after that. It was a night of endless walking and undetermined destination. We walked as we talked until we passed by this beautiful alfresco drinking place besides Empress Place. I was enchanted by its beauty, its night lightings and a melodic female voice which is woven into the music of a string musical instrument. We stopped our endless walk and settle in Indochine. The talk continued till wee hours.

Last year’s Christmas was spent in South Korea with my group of Singaporean classmates. It was an unique experience because I finally have the opportunity to celebrate a White Christmas. South Korea is a snowing country and is very cold during the winter. Wrapped in our thick layers of clothing (in our gloves, scarves, coats), all of us went to “Myeongdong”, a shopping district that is popular among the youths. The streets were crowded. It was difficult to move and we could easily lose each other if we weren’t careful. There was a unofficial cake selling competition as different shops reduced the prices of the Christmas cakes on that night, so that their cakes could be sold out fast. Somehow, the Koreans do not eat log cakes. The cakes that were sold are the typical cakes that we buy for our birthdays here in Singapore.

My friends and I shared an ice cream cake from Baskin Robins and headed down to an archaic catholic cathedral within the district. It was a monumental building which evoked a deep sense of spirituality when I was sitting quietly in the cathedral. I could remember the images of people lighting candles outside the cathedral and the veiled women who were praying in the cathedral.

Yesterday, I was in bus 171, traveling towards Plaza Singapura to meet a friend for movie. The traffic was slowing moving and I was feasting my eyes with the Christmas lightings along Orchard Road. Took out my camera and managed to take a few shots while the bus was waiting for the traffic light to turn green. It was a beautiful sight.

Wondering how this year’s Christmas would be like. I guess spending it by myself is probably the best Christmas celebration. It’s time of the year to reflect and keep track of the blessings from my Heavenly Father who lovingly shower upon me, a wretched child. Amazing Grace indeed.

Have a blessed Christmas!
Christ Jesus is the reason for this season. =)

It has been raining for the past few days. Reminds me a little bit of the time when I was in South Korea last year. The chilling weather, the dark skies and the experience of staying in my room while sipping a cup of hot chocolate/tea/coffee (depending on my mood)… Certainly, the sight of snow is so much more attractive than the raindrops. But, the raindrops orchestrate refreshing and exciting music that the snow is unable to do. The rain seems to have this innate hidden music talent which takes one to slowly discover it.

I was learning to discover the music talent of the rain two days back when the sky rained incessantly throughout the whole day. It was one of those rare nights when I got back early to hall after work.

After I showered, I comfortably sat on my stool (although it’s not a cushioned seat) and dimmed the lights in my room. Only the light from the screen of my laptop and my table lamp illuminated my small cozy room (visual estimation of 3 by 3m) in hall. Hugging my hippo would have been the best thing to do at that moment, but I decided to avoid my bed and hippo because I needed to sketch for the night.

I closed my eyes and immersed myself in the symphony of the raindrops pattering against the ground. Feeling the cooling weather and smelling the air, I was also enjoying the silence in my room, only being accompanied by the symphony outside my window. My heart was still and serene.

Found myself humming to a tune of a song and eventually praised my Saviour with that song. Prayed for a while and basked myself in His presence.

It was a beautiful night.


Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior

I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands

Crafted into your perfect plansYou gently called me into your presence

Guideing me by Your Holy Spirit

Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life

Through your eyes

I'm captured by your holy calling

Set me apart. I know you're calling me to yourself

Teach me, Lord. I pray

Take me, mold me, use me, fill me

I give my life to the potter's hand

Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me

I give my life to the potter's hand

The song, "The Potter's hands", resonated in my heart while I was singing it. His choice of song reminds me His love and gentle hands upon me. He has crafted a beautiful plan for me in the days to come. This is His promise which is my assurance and hope. Thank you Lord.

Fellowship of Christian Students 1 (FCS1), a ministry which belongs to International Fellowship of Evangelical Students, is set up to advance the Kingdom of God in Mongolia.
The goals of FCS1 are to preach the gospel of Christ among University students, to bring people to the Kingdom of God through the influence of graduates and to send out missionaries.

Varsity Christian Fellowship (VCF) has committed to supporting FCS1 in prayer and in monetary pledging.

Monetary Support
All profits raised will be part of the pledging of VCF to support their ministry in the following areas.
1) FCS1 student center (rent, utilities and maintenance.)
2) Ministry (food during fellowship, outreach events, fee subsidies for students at retreat, etc.)
3) Pioneering effort in another Mongolian city, Darkhan.

Prayer Support
1) Mongolian National University
• Pray for the preparation works that has to be done for the movement into FCS1’s new focus school.
2) Staff and students
• Pray that the staff would serve the students well even in the midst of busyness.
• Pray for the training of the 3 new staff.
• Pray for the discipleship of the students.

Each pack of cards (inclusive of all 4 designs) costs $4. The cost of your one meal could bless the Christian workers and non-Christians in Mongolia. Why not be a blessing to them?

Please contact me for enquiry and the purchase of cards.

Be Thou My Vision

Be thou my vision, oh Lord of my heart

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art

Thou my best thought, by day or by night

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Be thou my wisdom and Thou my true word

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord

Thou my great Father, and I Thy true son

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one

High King of heaven, my victory won

May I reach heaven's joys , O bright heaven's sun

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall

Still be my vision, O Ruler of all

A very powerful hymn that succintly speaks of one's desire to be close to the Lord.

Hear this my prayer oh Lord.

Be thou my vision, oh Lord of my heart.

Amen.

I have been busy.
Here are some updates

I was working on a few design projects. As seen earlier in my post, those are the stuff that I was doing.

I designed 4 different kinds of note cards which would be sold in packs of 4 to raise fund for a ministry in Mongolia. It is a ministry to reach out to the university students and grauduates in Mongolia. Spent about 1 week working on them and rushing them out for print. For those who are keen in purchasing them and supporting the ministry, please approach me. The cards are priced at $4 per pack. Each pack contains all 4 designs. The cost of your lunch could bless the ministry workers and non-christians in Mongolia. Why not be that blessing?

Took 2 days of break after I sent the cards to print. After that, I continued with the design of my friend's wedding programme bulletin (the drafts are seen in the earlier post). It is an interesting project because the couple likes it to be raw, rustic, recycled and unfinished. Creating an unfinished piece of work is difficult. They wanted to spend minimal for the wedding programme bulletin. It's really fun designing for them. I opted to design everything in black (so that the bulletins could be photocopied) and photocopy them on brown recycled papers. The bulletins turned out beautiful. The bride and groom were satisfied. I love it too! =)

After the bulletin was done, I was partying for 1 week continuously with my friends. Met many people from different social groups for dinner after work for one week. It's really great meeting these people but I was worn out at the end of the week. Of course, I was also pretty concern of my weight for eating so much within that week and not running at all.

Now, I have just begun with my hall production sets designing. Hohoho, no joke. Not easy at all when the script is not completed. Sets construction is going to start soon and not much has been designed yet. Not that positive for now, but i guess things would just turn out fine. I am quite tired by now to keep myself moving ahead and initiating the sets design. Taking a back seat for the moment to rest and pamper myself.

Ha.. And Christmas is around the corner! hee. Gonna be busy with more parties and evangelistic events. My friend shares the same sentiments as me when I told him that Christmas is a busy season more than a holidaying one. Spend more time on the phone sending smses away to invite the non-christians to various evangelistic activities. Would be attending 1 same musicals for 2 separate nights because both groups of my non-christian friends are available on different nights. Next week, I already have 2 consequtive Christmas celebration before the 24th. Ha.. Kailin said that I am too happening for good.

Am I tired? Yes I am. Work in the day and other activities at night... It's fulfilling but tiring. Oh well, what's new? I always have too much to feast on my plate. hee....

Closing my eyes and enjoying the rest after one busy week. Listening to the Christmas songs while typing this away. It's one of those mornings when I feel like pening down my thoughts and things on my heart but I do not know what to write. No theme in mind.

It's just a beautiful morning to temporary move away from the hective life and experience the serenity and peace.

My heart is still while my lips hum and celebrate the christmas to come. My eyes are closed, while I type this and listen to the silence around me. =)

Good Morning!
Today will be a beautiful day!