花痴。
My Affection for Flowers.

I LOVE flowers. Flowers are such lovely and pretty creations of God. I would be smitten each time when I receive beautiful flowers from friends. Not that I always receive them, but I sometimes dream that my close friends would remember and get me a stalk of flower when we meet. Ha.. I say is a dream, a dream yet to be realised. I have to keep on dreaming...

I love to see the smile on my dear friends' face when I get them flowers. Their faces would beam with joy and elation.. I just love to plant flowery surprises for them, because I know, their life would be adorned with flamboyant flowers on that special day.

I love all kinds of flowers. I have no specific preference. I always remind my friends to buy colourful flowers for me on my funeral day, so that my funeral would not be a morbid affair. Ha. My friends should be delighted that I have passed my test on earth and moved on to somewhere higher to meet my Lord. Remember, funeral shouldn't be a mourning event filled with white chrysanthemums, lilies, roses and daisies. It should be a light hearted event which is beautified with fragrant and flamboyant flowers that make one's departure happier. =)

I guess I am a romantic girl who loves beautiful things. I love to spin sweet fairy tales with merry endings. I am rather certain that I would enjoy being a wedding planner/co-ordinator. Each wedding is a special fairy tale for a bride and a groom. I love to choreographe this fairy tale and make it memorable for the newly wed couple.. Maybe maybe.. I should seriously consider to equip myself with relavant skills and experience.. and become a wedding planner! =)


(P/S Flowers recommendation: Fresh & very affordable flowers could be bought from Ghim Moh wet market. The florist provides good services and helpful advices in the selection of flowers for a bouquet. My all time favourite is 'Flowers matter', a shope underneath the escalators in Millenia Walk. I particulary appreciate the unique wrapping of the flowers because the flowers are wrapped in thick papers like putting on a kimono dress on the flowers.)

A reminder to be careful of personal desire to do His will.
Do it wil zeal, but with a good purpose; for the evil one is constantly hiding in ambush.
Could easily do everything for God with zeal.
But, remember to do all things in His strength and not mine alone.

23 April 2006

I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.

Psalm 40:8

24 April 2006

Those people are zealous to win you over, but for no good. What they want is to alienate you from us, so that you may be zealous for them. It is fine to zealous, provided the purpose is good, and to be so always and not just when I am with you.

Galatians 4:17-18
A letter to the churches in Galatia from Paul.

Finally, everything is finished.

I just had my critique session which marks the end of my architecture project for the semester. I feel really tired now, maybe because I did not sleep much the previous night. Felt a little bit deflated after the crit. The tutor said there's potential in my scheme but as for now, at the current development, it is still far from ideal. I was a bit upset initially but I am glad that the tutors saw the effort that I have invested in this design project. My studio tutor even helped me during the crit by mentioning some of my initial ideas which I didn't mention during my presentation.

Sigh.. I was really lost for words during my presentation. Wasn't confident at all with my presentation. I like what I designed, but I find it really difficult to explain my ideas to the crit panel. Maybe my ideas in the design are really muddled up. There was no clarity in form and architectural expression. The last time when I felt hard to 'sell' my design was when my tutor has changed my design so extensively that it was difficult for me to explain the final architecture with sound architectural intentions.

I was indeed disappointed intially. But the disappointment didn't wear me out.. It was shoved off my shoulders flippantly after a short while. I am reminded of the goodness of my Lord and how He has constantly blessed me in my entire design. I have nothing to fear because the design is His, and I know He will bless the design. I should be contented with whatever outcome of the crit because everything is under His control, everthing that happens is in His will...

I just pray that I would not have to go for the external examination when there would be another critique session with a panel of judges who are from outside university.

(Before my presentation, Zhi Lei told me that she heard from Thai Heng that I was a good with my oral presentation. 5 years ago, I was the valedictorian for my graduating year and I gave a speech on behalf of my cohort. He was impressed by my speech and said that He would be glad if he could present at half of my standard.. Well.. I was certainly flattered... But I told Zhi Lei.. that that was history.. haha...)

Why people 'SMOKE'?

Dearest Johnny,
In reply to your post on your blog..
There are many reasons why pple use 'smoke' to describe their design.

1) The tutor could have changed their design so much that they couldn't possibly identify with it or even agree with it. The reason why students heed to the tutors' advices because we are afraid that we might fail if we don't.. and usually we always think that tutors could have given us the better solution since they are more experienced. This is what I appreciate about our tutor. She's not exactly very deterministic, and she allows room for us to make our own decisions, and carve our own ways. (haha!.. although sometimes.. remarks like "i don't know, you have to try it yourself" weren't very inspiring and helpful!)

2) The student is not focussed in the process of design. As a result, the student included many things.. that couldn't possibly linked to their orginal intent. Hence, they find it difficult to deliver a convincing project presentation. They could have felt that their design is fragmented in ideas and architecture intentions. Hence, "smoking" their design is conveniently and indirectly used to express one's in ability to create a holesome picture of their architecture. Many of us face this problem, because we could be easily distracted from the multiple options we have, and not followed closely to our original intent. In another situation, our original intent does not perpetuate our design development far, and from the original intent, we digressed to other small intents/ strategies, that could be mostly irrelavant to what we have started with. Most of us coud also have been so caught up with the idea of 'CONCEPT' that we find it difficult to deliever an architecture that is very very coherant with our concepts.

3) When we look back at our design process, and try to make some sense out of it.. sometimes we realise that we spend a lot of time post rationalising our design. When we design, we would meet with unexpected solutions which we couldn't possibly explain and summarise these solution in words. We could have obtained these unexpected solutions from multiple permutations of a solution to a design problem or purely by our own intuition. A solution obtain from our intuition is usually not valid in our crit because the tutor would want us to substantiate our every move in our design execution with thoughtful reasons. We couldn't possibly tell the tutor "I feel that it is correct.. therefore I do it this way.." !! haha.. Hence, when we post rationalise, and when we couldn't find valid and convincing reason.. therefore.. we tried to fabricate a good enough reason to back up our design.. some of us 'smoke'.

In summary, some of us 'smoke' because we are not confident of ourselves and our designs. We could really tell from the way a person presents his design during crit. If he has a purpose.. We could see it in his face and hear it through his words.

Post Submission Blue
I slept. I woke UP. It was 12noon.
I missed my submission deadline for my portfolio.

That was what my neighbour described when she tried to wake me up for dinner,
"I pat on you gently, hoping to ask you out for dinner.. You did not respond. Then i shook you gently.. you still did not respond.. i decided to shake you violently... you stil still did not respond... You slept like a log"

I woke up

I slept for 20 hours for the past 1.5 days, and woke up for meal breaks, 3 times. Hibernate, eat, hibernate, eat...

She is my Morning.
Dawn

On the eve of submission
Hehe! Miss ya too sweetie! Im up n awake studying in e lib.. Jiayou for ur design! U have one more day! *muuuak*

On the day of submission
Hey darling! Hope all went well with ur design! =) everything else is in God's hands k! Dun worry abt it anymore! Cheers! =)

Physically tired. Spiritually revitalised.

Tired. Very much physically worn out from the lack of sleep and extensive cadding in front of a computer.
Was planning to work on my model in the evening, when my CGL Alvin smsed me to inform me that there would be a cell group meeting for all the cell groups of the NUS halls. I was contemplating and considering if I should go for the meeting. Was actually very keen, but.. I have work to do, and I cannot afford to procrastinate my work further..

Was supposed to print my panel first then use it for model making. However, there was a long queue at scalebar and sengcity was not available. (it was year 2 aki submission, hence the busy business).. In other words, I didn't manage to print my panel, and I couldn't work on my model.

I guess God wanted me to be there in the meeting. I went for the meeting in the end. I am glad that I was there. If not, I would have missed out alot. I was very much touched by the Heavenly Father. I was certainly refreshed after the meeting. I was very blessed in the meeting when I could pray and sing praise to Daddy most High together with other new found brothers and sisters in Christ in LT 19!

One thing I am sure. The Lord is always with me. I have nothing to worry or fear. I am determined to be a living testimony during this time of submission when there would be chaos, panic and fear. I shall stand strong and reflect the power of Jesus through me. I find security and confidence in my Lord Jesus Christ. Hence I have nothing to fear. I desire to shine for the Lord.

I am spiritually recharged. I sing praise. I am joyous because the Lord is with me!
AMEN!

5 days to submission

He is the Architect of my Life.
His mighty hands draw beautiful brushstrokes and paint vibrant & flamboyant colours in my monochromatic life.
Life is never the same again.

6 days to submission

Blessed by my professor

Shall record this down, because.. his encouragement and concern really touch my heart. Was walking along the archi corridor when I bumped into him. He invited me to his office.

I went into his office and was greeted by a model which he was building. His room was filled with shelves of books and beautiful skeletal wood models. It was impressive.

He called me in to share with me his current project. Chatted a little while with him and was inspired by him. Glad to have talk to him. He showed me his project to inspire me and encourage me in this final lap of the design stage.

I was certainly very happy and moved for his concern and care.. Thank you SIR! =)

God send wonderful people into my life to support and edify me. Thank you Father!

7 days to my submission

A Blessed Smile

Sunday 02 April 2006
I hadn't smiled with such Blessedness.. for a long long time. I thank you friend for you have made me feel really special. I felt like a princess on that day. (Ha.. Ordered alot of food, just to ensure that I am well fed!)

Thank you Victor, for being such a precious friend.

Angel Faith.

Guys should be alot nicer and not make girls cry.

Guys should be alot more sensitive and not irritate girls.

Guys should be alot more eloquent and not make girls feel like speaking to a wall that reflects what she speaks into her face as echoes.
Girls like speaking to a sound asorbing wall.

With Pearlene