Allow me to tell you of a story of my friend.

"Strive and Study hard to be the first in class. No. That's not enough. I ought to be the first in cohort!"
Indeed, she studied hard. She was the first in class and cohort when she was in lower secondary.
She lived a life of her own, always immersed in her own world. At 14 years old, her friends did not understand her. She was upset over not getting the last few possible points that she could get, in order that she scored the highest, while her friends were contented with their results.. Some were even struggling to pass.

When she moved up to upper years, she distrusted friendships. She did not understand why the girls in her class were getting emotionally upset, just because their other close girl friends hurt them. Then, she thought that all friends would eventually betray her one day. She felt that as long as she was successful and achieved all distinctions for her O levels, get into a good JC... everything was good for her. She was on her way to becoming a successful person.

Although she led her life alone, sometimes, she yearned to have someone whom she could talk to. The sad truth was, she had no one to turn to. She felt weak at times because she came to a point in her life when she realized that scoring good grades means nothing to her. She fell into a relationship, thought she had found her closest friend whom she could find support and comfort in. But, she fell out of the relationship shortly after that. She was emotionally drained. She was also physically worn out because she was juggling with her own emotional problems and stress that she faced from her other commitments in school. For her, she felt that she would not be happy again for a long while.

Until one day, someone told her this, "God, the Heavenly Father desires you to be his happy child. He would carry your burden on your behalf."
She wept, she thought to herself that she was left with nothing, and she decided to just blindly believe. She acknowledged that she had a Heavenly Father and received Him into her life.

For me, I feel that it could be possibly a very impulsive act and even a sudden irrational move of entrusting one's life into a religious faith because this person seeks to find an immediate relief from the hurts and pain she was struggling with. Yes, it is indeed very impulsive... yes, it is indeed very irrational. But, that leap of faith into a world of unknown has brought her to a life of certainty and assurance because she knows that she has her Heavenly Father, who loves her, comfort her and guides her. She does not regret it, I am sure... because I am that girl.

That was my story before i become a Christian when I blindly believe that an intangible God could possibly take away the hurts and pain which I were feeling. It was very silly from a rational perspective. But if you were in my shoes then, when you feel that you are desperately in need of a relief from all the emotional turmoil, probably believing in the existence of an unseen God could possibly bring about some form of emotional comfort.



And what do I gain out of believing in God and receiving Jesus into my life? I know three things.

1)I understand that I am the child of God. God is my creator while I am His masterpiece. God has established a father and child relationship with me. Like a lovingly father and a purposeful creator, He desires the best for me and has planned a life for me. My life is secured in His hands. My future is not bleak because God has paved his path for me.

Before I was a Christian, I used to believe that I could control my own life. The achievement that I get at the end of the day is primarily dependent on me. However, I later realized that there are many circumstances in life that actually stops me from achieving my goals. There was this time when I worked very hard to complete my architecture project. I spent about 2 weeks working on it. I was looking forward to the completion of it until a few days before my submission, my computer crashed on me. All my hard work has gone to waste.

Being unlucky? My point here is, even if I believed that I could control my own life, there would be times when I can't do anything about my life, because my life is determined by some other circumstances which are beyond my control.

From believing that I could control and shape my own life, I gradually come to realize that it is more likely to believe in a creator who has planned and predestined my life. Now that I have God in my life, I feel very assured and certain of my life now and in the future. There could be a lot of uncertainties in the future but I am assured that my future is in the good hands of my Heavenly Father who loves me and desires the best for me. Because I know that my life has been carefully planned by God, I am sure that God would lead me in His perfect plan.

2) I also realize that there is hope and purpose in life.
I used to ask myself the following questions, "What is the purpose of our existence on earth?" "Why do we have to study so hard and work so hard when we eventually would die one day?" I have even contemplated to commit suicide at the age of 30 after I reach my prime, since after 30 years old would mean suffering and illnesses. These are some philosophical questions that demand a deeper meaning and a purpose out of my life. Do I exist merely to survive? What if one day, things that I hold dear to and I have been working hard for, such as my graduation certificate, my career and my wealth were to disappear from my hand, what then would my life be?

In today’s society, when our self worth and identity are largely determined by our social status and our achievement, is there anything more to life than just a constant pursuit of achievements, from attaining a university certificate to getting a high paying job and finally becoming wealthy?” If life merely revolves around the pursuit of material needs and achievements, what would then happen to one’s life when someone of high social status and great wealth was to face with bankruptcy? We have heard of numerous suicidal cases when the victims ended their lives after their setback. Have you ever wondered why these people committed suicide? They could have felt that they have lost everything and there is no more hope and purpose in their life anymore.
I think it would be very sad to know that one’s purposeful pursuit of a "better life" would eventually brought one to a state of hopelessness and despair when one has been stripped of all the valuable things in one’s life.

Being an achiever was no longer my agenda. I used to be an over achiever in secondary school. I always wanted to prove my worth and abilities by showing the others that I could perform well in my studies and CCA. Now, there isn’t a need for me to prove my own abilities and worth anymore, because I found my identity as a child of God. My self-worth is anchored in God.

3) I have a personal relationship with God. At this juncture, allow me to ask this question, “Why do some of us treasure relationship so much?” I guess it could be part of being a human, there is a deep yearning for companionship and support within ourselves, so that we don’t feel lonely. With friends and dear ones by our side, life becomes mores bearable because we know that we have people around us whom we could relate to.

My Heavenly Father was my steadfast friend. He walked with me in my darkest hour. Last year this time, I was in South Korea for student exchange programme. I felt all alone in the foreign land even though I was with my other course mates. Those course mates whom I thought I could relate to alienated from me for some reasons. I feel a deep sense of loneliness. God was my comforter during that trying period of time. Even when I did not have much physical support, my Heavenly Father was the unchanging friend who was with me throughout my Korea stay. With God, I was not coping with the loneliness alone. He became my listener and refuge.



Maybe some of you might be thinking that my experiences could possibly be my own mental illusions that are self-gratifying and self-comforting. But, I have struggled much with my rationality before I could conclude that my experiences are real and genuine.

Indeed, I have become God’s happy child. I have a purposeful future planned out by God, hence I am not lost. I have my identity anchored in God and I do not have to prove my worth through material possessions. There is greater perspective to my life than just mere existence on earth. I have also God as an unchanging friend who would not abandon me. My step of faith then has allowed me to gain so much which I have never gotten before.

Dear friends, I am sharing my journey with you because I have tasted the sweetness and love of God. I was as disbelieving as some of you here. I was telling my friend, not to become a Christian because they are too holy. I was telling a Christian, that I would not become a Christian then because i would like God to interfere my life because I dislike confusion.

But today, I am glad that God has interfered my life. I am glad that God, who is my creator, has granted me a life which he carefully planned because he desires the best for me. It is the just the same as how some of you might have planned where you would like to place your stained glass painting which you have created. Some plan to place it on the self in the room, on the door or even give it to a friend. God created us as His unique masterpieces, and our lives are tailored made and customised in the most ideal way.

Here is God inviting you to become His child. Always remember that his hand is always by your side, waiting patiently for you to grab hold of it because he is always willing to walk together with you through thick and thin, in your life on earth.

I pray that one day, you would share the same kind of joy that I am experiencing now.

Testimony shared during ECF stainglass painting workshop. All glory and honour to my Heavenly King.